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Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Living On

She had a dream to travel. Travel and see the world. Enjoy the many wonders that the nature presented. Relish the freedom. Live the dreams. But then... life happened.

Over a cup of coffee, sitting in a dimly lit room, watching the snowfall outside, there were many things that crossed her mind. Her wonderful childhood, which she didn't know how wonderful it was then. Her amazing college life, the worth of which she did not realize then. Then the dark years, the many tragedies, then now, Now, where she was.

At a point in time, everything seemed perfect for her. But suddenly out of the blue, it happened. Her body started fighting against her. Auto immune diseases she had studied of, somewhere jn her school texts. But never thought something like that would happen to her. Why should one's body fight against the self? But life as strange as is it, turned out that way for her. And she was diagnosed with the debilitating condition of Multiple Sclerosis.

It was denial at first, then it was depression. Then blaming  fate and God. The so called wonderful life of her friends passed before her eyes. The bright and promising future she had laid crumpled at her feet. She was sick. She needed help for everything. She couldn't hold a pen.She couldn't walk. The world was always going round and round for her. Her love had left her. She lost her zest, her will to live. She wanted to die.

But, death doesn't come easily to those who want it. She lived. Seeing many others with those wonderful lives perish before her eyes. She was confused. Then she realized. The uncertainness of tomorrow. She realized the need for living in the moment. Happiness was always there. She tried to seek out for it. She fought against her condition, she fought against the sympathizing society and she lived. She lived by learning to love herself, she lived by learning to accept herself, she lived by turning a deaf ear to the cruel world.

And now she was here. With a cup of coffee, watching the snowfall , pondering over her life. She felt content inside. She had found the happiness within her. She had learned the art of living. She had learned to make the best out of what she had.

She got up with the help of her walker. Her legs had given away their strength long back. But she walked on forward.

Tomorrow for her was a mystery. But, who cares about tomorrow. It was the moment that mattered for her. She had a lot to do. Nothing was going to stop her. She had a lot to do.

She moved on forward. Out in the cold , into the harsh weather, to achieve her dreams..

chitz...



Thursday, December 12, 2013

The Exes and Me

So, someone close to me had a break up.I knew the two people well for quite a long time. They were together too, for quite a long time. But, now they broke up. Ideally, it should have been so. End of the story. But no, in reality, the after effects are still there. The sad part is the after effects are to be suffered not by the  2 main characters in the story, but their well wishers who were with them. And that includes the likes of me.

What happened is that the ex Juliet in the story has un-friended him and blocked him from all sorts of social contact. But well enough, the ex Romeo creates new ids and profiles and messages her. And the drama still continues.

And then there is me. Me, who was nobody in the story, but a good old friend. I never asked these people to meet up or break up. But then also, I am being subjected to periodic and forced involvement in the story. The ex Romeo being my friend messages me so as to get in contact with her.

First, I used to get whining stories. Sad stories. So, there was consoling from my part. More sad stories, more consoling. And this went on for quite a while. Finally it reached the limits. And me in all my politeness told him that it is none of my business to interfere in others personal life and asked him to stop involving me in this.

Guess it worked , atleast for a week. But now it has restarted all again.. Being my FB friend he sends me messages. The funny part is that he sends me long stories for which I am not able to reply to because his account is instantly deactivated after he messages me. So, guess he silently reactivates his profile, messages me and BOOM, he does the disappearing act again.

And me, I don't know what to do. Because, if I try to message him, I can't because he is a ghost in FB then. I can't block him nor unfriend him because for that you need a working profile. And I can't stay up the whole day and night just to see when his profile is active again. So I am the subject of constant ghost messaging by this guy.

So, I decided this is the only way out. When you relogin to your profile and snoop on my profile, which I know you will...please take the pains to read this, for I have written this especially for you.

Break ups happen. But life should go on. But if you are so adamant that life shouldn't move on, then OK your wish. But please stop involving the likes of me and stop playing this hide and seek Drama. The rest of us have our not so seemingly perfect lives and problems to handle. And this is the umpteenth bye and I won't disturb you again message that you are sending me. So I sincerely wish one day it becomes true. Not that bye part, I would still like to be your friend like I was before, but that I won't disturb you with this crap part. Seriously bro, learn to stick on to your words.

Sincerely hope you move on with your life.. and leave the likes of me to live in peace...I truly respect your feelings.. But...


so long
me.....

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Guess I haven't gotten over it completely.. She was not that close to me, but guess the impact was big. Otherwise I wouldn't just sit up one night all of a sudden and think of her..Life seems like a big joke.. A person full of life and love, now just nothing.

Guess life is so..
RIP for you gives a completely new meaning
Return If Possible..

The grief I see all over is hard to take..
RIP dear chechi...
....

Monday, December 9, 2013

Sleep Away

She could have slept if she tried to.. But then, she didn't.. why should she? After all there was the music, the etheral music she always loved.

The divine music which took her to the past..
The past which was only in her dreams
But the past which was real than the reality

The soulful music which made her realize
Realize what she was
Who she was..
What she was....

And then it stopped..
The music
The dreams
The love..

Sleep told her
Come...
Visit my haven
Where lies the pleasures unknown
Unreal but there
Short but sweet
Come...come on
My haven of dreams await you
Short but sweet
Lucky you are maybe
Then it will last for on

Sleep away she thought
The music has gone
The love has faded
The dreams have vanished

Sleep away she decided
To the realms of unreality
To the pleasures of the unsure

Sleep away..
Lucky if you are
Your answers you will get.

chitz...

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

When nothing feels good, its just like that.  Its been a dark, gloomy and depressing day. Nothing is good. No hope seen anywhere and the best thing that can be done is to shut up yourself and ignore the world.

Feeling meh, meh meh...all so meh!!!

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Trapped from all sides
Struggle the soul does
The vehement nature resurfaces again
Living in a society that's emphatically dumb
Pathetic, and how more can it get?

Saturday, November 9, 2013

...

Mud to mud
Ashes to ashes
No more no less
That's all that's there
The wonders you feel
The memories you leave
The sorrow you give
That's all that's there
Prayers and hymns
For you who's gone
Sadness that's spread
Knows all but you
In a cocooned world we live
Nevertheless the pain we shall feel
The passing winds and the fleeting gestures
Reminiscent of a vague past
Pain though shall diminish
But memories though shall remain
Till the ticking clock calls us too
To the nether world mysterious.

chitz...

Monday, October 21, 2013


So you go,I go,everyone goess
Searching for peace
Serching for love
Searching for unkown joys
That seem to exist
In the holdings of others
The givings and takings
The tears and laughters
The joy of the foreseeing that beckons
The life of the lover in the wait
All the praise and  hallows
Once a fixture now a passe
Solitude was once my name
Misery was once my game
The lover’s game was once my fame
Thought the dice was dear
Thought the name was clear
Angst, oh, you struck me begone one again
Dreams and colurs,though you left behind
Drunken memory the colors vivid
Sleeplessness the joys beheld
Never waiting for you ever or never
The plesant tomorrow that leaves forever and ever
Going in search again
Always in the holdings of others
Unknown treasures that seem to exist.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Letting go can be tough, but then sometimes it may be the only way out...

chitz...

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Sacrifice

Can you make others happy , if you are not happy with yourself?
So, is this sacrifice term really over rated?

Because, if you did not have to give up on something you really did not like, then it wouldn't be a sacrifice. If you give up something which you do not care for that much, it is just charity or donation and in no way sacrifice.And then, you give up something which was close to your heart, then it is sacrifice for sure, you made somebody else happy, but then what about your happiness?

Sulking on for life.
Life itself is perplexing and complex.

Just some early morning thoughts triggered by coffee overdose.

chitz...

Money Matters

So, what will you do when you find that there is a certain 500 rs missing from your pocket?And the only person who roams about freely in your house other than your family is your maid? Is it necessary that I put the blame on the maid?

The thing is that you never notice that you have lost some money until you are really deprived of it.I would have never noticed that 500 is gone if my purse was full. But, here this was supposed to be the last mint in my purse as per my mental calculations. So, when it went missing , I noticed.

In my case, this can have happened maybe because I was a bit careless? I could have given a 500 rs note instead of a 100 rs one.Or could I have not?

I am actually not sure. But, I usually don't misplace money like that.And so again I am doubtful.

But, if my doubt is correct, then actually won't I be giving some sort of encouragement to the wrongdoer? Dilemma again.

I have decided to be more careful and watchful and keep a tab on everything. Let's see what happens.

chitz...

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Constant Constancy

Yeah, so times have changed. Scenarios have changed. Life has changed. People around us have changed. But, so what?Does it necessarily mean that we have to change?Really?

So, we grow. True. Physical change is inevitable. We reach an emotional saturation. We have our basic likes and dislikes. So, do they really change?

Me , they haven't. My dreams are the same. My happy place is the same. My favorite people are the same. My aspirations are the same.

In short, I am me. I haven't  changed.

I was just a small girl once. Then a woman. Then a wife. Now a mother. Maybe, after years, a grandmother.

But, the me inside the exterior has remained the same. I am me. And that's something that's never gona change.

And I am me, and that's something honey, u will never ever will be able to be!!!

chitz...

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

A Self Inspirational Note...

Tomorrow might be there, it might not be, who knows? Not me, for sure, and I do think not you also know it.The worries may disappear, or they may just carry on, carry on throughout your life. The joys of today, they may carry on. And that's what we all wish for, ain't it? Living each day, clinging on to the joys, afraid to let them go even for a second. For, we fear, well I fear the unknown path of life that lies ahead, if we let go of them. But, I should know, I might be there or I may be gone and long.

So, what I am saying is that, Why these thoughts? Why these worries?
Our worries are not going to change anything.
Better live this moment, and soak in the joys and sorrows, it gives us..
And continue forward with the hope, 
That whatever happens happens for the best..
It should happen for the best.
It must happen for the best.

chitz...

Saturday, August 10, 2013

maybe

So..
You were  there
I was there
The songs were loud
The dreams were bright
Tomorrow seemed a better place
A place of joys and happiness
Now...
The days are dark
The nights are fearsome
I survive
You survive
Loathing the tomorrow
Reminiscing the beautiful past
In the vague hope
That
Tomorrow might be beautiful
And maybe
Happy...

chitz....

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Shillong finally!!!

And so, I am at this new place. A new place far in the hills, a new place quite so green. A new place oh so cold, a new place that it rains all day long. A new place so serene , a new place of peace and quiet.

So, I am in Shillong. Not in the city, a bit away from the city, a good 20 km from the city centre.

But, the place is beautiful. And I have learned to live without fans and always sleep under the blanket. A place where there are no summers, it is truly the Scotland of the East.

Settling on with my new life, hope this place gives me beautiful memories to share with you guys.

And here what I view when I stand on my verandah.















My view is filled with the line of pine trees, and the endless greenery that lies beyond. Something which I have always hoped for, and like the dejvu which I always had before.

Beautiful place, hope to spend a couple of years here, atleast...

so long folks..
chitz...



Friday, July 19, 2013

Of "Gents" and "Ladies"


I can't say I am a movie person, but I can't also say that I am not a movie person. I would not mind watching movies, but definitely not at a movie theater. I just cant accept the idea of sitting over a place for a good 2 hours. I would like to take breaks of my own, move around , pause the movie, replay the songs and scenes and so on. In short I would love to have a personalized movie experience, so a movie at a theater was always an avoidable option.

So I had almost given up on movie watching of this sort. But that was until my husband who was out of the country for some time came back. And according to the law of attraction of opposite polarities,he has turned out to be a first day first show movie buff. And woe being me, I was forced to accompany him to the movies , as a result of heavy doses of emotional blackmailing.

So, I am at a movie theater one day and the corner seat was my choice. There I was happily cuddled in the corner,with no one to disturb and munching on my popcorn. My bliss was suddenly disturbed by the guy who shows around the seats in the movie hall.Flashing his torch around, he was asking me to exchange seats with my husband sitting near me.

I couldn't understand the need  for such an arrangement. I slowly peeped over and saw a couple sitting next to us. The torch guy showing us around wanted me  and the other female to be seated in the middle and flanked by our partners. Not only us, the other couple in question also seem to be flabbergasted by this strange request. And what was  even stranger than the request was his reasoning behind it.

 Seems like the remaining seats in the row had male occupants. So the other girl cant be seated next to them, as they were "GENTS". And supposedly "GENTS" and "LADIES" cannot be seated together. And so if she exchanges her seat with her boyfriend, then she will be safe on one side, but she will be flanked on the other side by another "GENT", who was my husband. And so the best option was to seat the"LADIES" in the middle and flank them with their protective "GENTS".

Sounds utterly stupid, but this is a true incident. And this didn't happen in the 18th century. This just happened some weeks back. And this didn't happen in a rural village. This happened in a well populated city bustling with educated and cultured inhabitants, in God's very own country

Seriously, is this is way of protecting females. And if everyone behaves properly what is the need for the protection.What can possibly happen if a guy sits next to a girl in a movie hall?

I wonder how many other rows and columns in the movie hall the torch guy went on rearranging. It would have taken a hell lot of his precious time. I could have given the cinema hall people a better way to save their time.

 1. Segregate seats for men and women. Let one side be only for men and the other side only for women. So that if a couple walks into a movie hall, they can be seated in a safe way, and so they can end up watching the movie in the company of total strangers.

2. Start a counter for selling items like safety pins, pepper sprays, and blades. So that even if a girl is seated next to a guy, then she can protect herself with the help of these devices, in case the guy tries to molest her when the lights go off. This will also add extra revenue to the movie hall authorities.

Seriously!!People need to grow up. Safety is required. But that doesn't mean that rights should be compromised. Stupid regulations and rules create a stupid society indeed!!

When will this change??

chitz...




Friday, July 12, 2013

Blank

Too much of anything is really not good.  This I know now. I am filled with too much emotions and thoughts. I keep on pondering and wondering about many many things. The overplay of emotions and thoughts have made me numb. Numb in the sense, I cannot find a medium as an outlet of my thoughts.I want to tell many things. But most of the time, its bundled up in my mind itself.I don't know who to tell or how to tell.

I am unable to find the words.
There are no words or no songs or no stories.
Everything is just plain.
And there is no clarity.
Decision making has become tiresome and difficult.
And choices are becoming the hardest.

I have not become crazy. I guess it is just a phase.

Hope it passes soon.

chitz...

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

And so finally everything crumbles down to this point. All those smiles, all those photos, all those tears, all the laughters, the fights, the ego bashing. Everything just vanishes. And all becomes just another drop in the ocean.

Some experience it the hard way, some learn it the hard way, and some never ever do. They just go on until the hurricane hits them.

Might seem insensible to all, but for me this is my mind as of now and the most sensible thing I have written in a long long time.

chitz...

Friday, June 7, 2013

The Hangover

The night of last Monday was one hell of a night!!!

I had reached my wit's end with my job. Working from home has of course its benefits. Well,it has got its disadvantages too. And that day I reached my saturation. Completed whatever work I could, and I ran away. Not that I actually ran away, I took a break. And went to the nearby beach. I felt as if I couldn't take it anymore.

And then at the beach it rained. It was cold, it was amazing.it was my best day at the beach ever.and I wasn't alone. My husband, my sis, and her friend completed the group. It was all peaceful and poetic until the beers arrived.

I m not a person who gets high on beers. Nor do I drink that much. But then that day I got a bit more than happy high!!! So much high, that for the first time in my life I experienced blackouts!!!

I remember the first beer. Then there was a happy chatting, then the photos at the beach. Then I remember the second beer. Not completely. Then there was a third I guess. The rest I don't exactly remember.

I remember making decisions to enjoy life. Loud decisions that too.Then I remember some photographs. Then I remember the car. Then I remember telling my sister I want to vomit. Then I remember going upstairs to my bed. 

In between, after that, before that I do not remember.

Next day morning, I woke up at 6 or something. I didn't have a heavy head or anything. But as I said, there were only flashes of memory.

I saw that my 2 fingernails were broken. It was a surprise because I remember the nails to be there last day.I thought I slept in a pair of jeans, but I woke up in my pyjamas. Didn't know when I changed the dress.
Seems like the friend who accompanied us had forgotten his aviators at the beach shack and we walked all the way to get them. I didn't remember that too.

As a testimony of the incidents and to blackmail me, my everloving sister and husband has taken a photograph of me, sleeping all out and just like dead. And many other photos taken at the beach. Don't remember that either.

Maybe it was the beer. I guess it was a bit too over-fermented.
Maybe it was because I was having a bee after quite some time.

What ever maybe the reason, I finally experienced one of those Hangover moments in the morning, just like the movies, not that extreme but!!!

chitz...


Saturday, May 18, 2013

What's In a Pic?




It's been what,  like almost 13 years since I passed my 10th grade. 13 long years.Seems like eons away. And after that it's been like college, another college, work, marriage, friends, other friends, more friends and so on. And we grow old. Well, 28 is kind of old when compared to 15. And with an increase in age our memory decreases slowly, slowly and slowly. New faces overlap the old ones. And except for our best friends, our neighbors  and the most popular kid in school, the chances of remembering  each and every person who has studied with us is practically nil. And it doesn't help if the school you studied had quite a big student population.

And so, all of a sudden,and after more than a decade, you suddenly get a friend request in FB. The name is quite common. It can be your Priya, Tina, Anjali, Riya, anything. From your common friends you can make out this particular person was your school mate. But the problem lies in the fact that the name does not have a face to it. Well Priya may have a display pic of a puppy, Tina might be Kate Winslet, and Anjali will be nothing but the evening sun above the sea. And here, the display pic was tweety. No more pics in the album, as privacy settings are quite high.

Ok. So, I respect your privacy madam. But, I am not in the habit of adding strangers to my list. So in all politeness , I ask.."I am sorry, kind of lost here. Can't really make out who you are. Please help" ( Smiley added at the end for a friendly feel).

And then comes the reply "What, you don't remember me? Really? I am hurt".

That's it. No indication as of who she is still.  I know she is not my best friend. Not my close friend. I don't think not even someone who qualifies as a friend. If that were the case, she would have been already in my list. So, how am I to make out from a pic of tweety, who that person is? I am quite sure tweety didn't study with me.

Well I replied." No, I don't. Will be helpful if you put up your pic".

No replies. It's been more than 2 weeks. I haven't accepted or declined her request. It stands like that. But tweety has changed to a phrase which goes something like " True Friends are Rare".

Seriously? Lady, put a face to that name. I might get you.

And please forgive me for not recognizing you, as I am getting old, my limbs are weakening, my vision is blurring and my memory is fading.

Maybe I should have one of those memory boosting drinks and tonics that they show in the advertisements!!!

so long
chitz...



Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Modern Health Care- A Life Changer and a Life Saver; Wait. No. Its Changed Decisions

Health care is not at all what it used to be in the old times. Why go back to the old times, health care has changed a lot in the past 2 two decades. New therapies have been discovered for cancer, organs transplants are being performed every other day and childless couples are given the chance to enjoy the joys of parenthood.

And these are all not paid stories and promotions that are put on paper by hospitals and clinics. Modern health care facilities have truly changed the life of many people and I am one to have experienced these benefits firsthand. And what more proof is greater other than your own personal experiences?

My story goes  so..

This was what I was going to write for a contest at IndiBlogger. First try at such a contest. But then I lost interest,. Of course I have had a pretty long stint at hospitals. And it still continues. But then I thought, why just write for a prize? I should probably be writing for myself, from my heart, what I want to, and not what Appolo hospitals wants me to write. I would love to have that ipad as a prize, but still I am not motivated.

Maybe its my sleepy brain that's playing tricks on me..

Hope I am motivated soon enough to enter some other contest. But then again, the post should reflect the nature of my blog. If so, I guess I will be entering some madcap contest.

Let's see..
I am sleepy.

But I got another glass of green tea to finish.

And now I feel like Carrie Bradshaw minus that cigarette.

Should stop for now.

 So long
chitz...


Saturday, May 11, 2013

The Baby and the Laptop

When there is a kid at home, you can expect some losses to happen. Like broken glasses, torn books, chewed upon clothes and so on. Well I have a kid too, around a year and a half old. But with the advent of my kid into this world something else had happened. The crystal  exhibits from the East are in place, no glasses broken, yeah the tearing of paper happens occasionally, but not that frequently and all her clothes are as good as new.

What changed was my laptop. My laptop is now like an old person. Be it a man or a woman, that doesn't count here. What matters is that it is showing a certain sign of old age.Just like old people don't have any teeth, or have some steady teeth with a lot hanging around. That's what my laptop is kind of right now.

It all started when my baby discovered the joy of smashing up things. And of all the things, what got into her hand was my laptop. It was like seeing a well made horror movie. You are sitting on the bed , baby just rolled over, your laptop in the bed, you reach out to take something, and the next thing you hear is a high pitched sound of something being plucked off forcibly, and then you turn around and notice your laptop keys in the kids hand.

The first key to go was "F". Then "U", and now "C".  I thought she was trying to spell out a particular word, and that too this young. But thank God, that wasn't the case.The next was my "up" arrow. And now there is no "T", no "Shift" no"G" , no "Caps" lock and no "Y".

Thank God, with practice even without the labeling  I know which key is where. Its just like your brain is programmed to go to those places where the keys existed before.

And so now, most of the times my keypad feels like a touch screen pad. I want to get another laptop, but I am just waiting to see how long this device will run. Not only that last year my actual laptop succumbed to thunder and lightning. It was a beautiful laptop, no complaints. And of all the electronic devices in the house,its just my laptop which perished to the fury of nature. And so, this is the second one in a year and a half, and so, that's another reason behind me thinking twice regarding changing the laptop.

When she started her fiasco with my laptop she was 4 months or so, so beating or scolding wouldn't have done any good. As time progressed, I tried the small pat on the bum, scolding, and forbidding her to touch the laptop, threatening that I will go "TATA" without her, and all techniques I know. She cries, becomes a good girl for sometime,and the next time she gets a chance off goes another key.

She is a good girl alright. Sleeps well, eats well and understands everything surprisingly well enough for a one and a half year old baby. But she has this thing for my laptop, an underlying passion to destroy it and only it.

So me, keeps the laptop out of  her reach always. Its more like a desktop now, because its mobility is restricted. But humans can fault, and dark times fall upon again when I leave the laptop unattended for a second. For my baby has now learned to climb upon tables and chairs.

And there goes my laptop tale. Don't know for how long will it be..But as long as it is,let it be.

chitz...

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Post Marriage Rules

A comment by an actress in the newspaper today got me thinking.. 

"You can wear modern clothes and cut your hair only till your marriage After marriage it is a different story.:"

So what after marriage, you turn into one of those people who are always traditionally clad? Sure things go change a bit. But,do you lose all your basic rights after tying the knot? I wonder which book dictates these rules?

Married for the past 5 years and I feel the statement is a load of bull.

Indeed!!!

chitz...

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Those Last Moments

When you die, rather when you know you are about to die, what would your last thoughts be? Or would we have the time and state of mind to think?

Just a random thought.

chitz...

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Sad but True


There was a princess, there was a pauper. And there was love.
Sadly, it was improbable and impossible.

Time passed.

Again,

There was a princess, there was a pauper. And there was love.
Sadly, it was improbable and impossible.

Some things never change. 

Sad, but true.

chitz…

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Bangalore Blues!!!

I am having Bangalore Blues. I miss Bangalore a lot. I miss my friends there. I miss the city. I miss the life. I miss those Purple Hazed nights. And I miss those Long Island Ice Teas.

Missing Bangalore, one reason why I restarted my blog again. Re-channel your emotions. It's your blog. Be as creative and as destructive as you want to. Thank you technology for your small small mercies.

Maybe I will write and write unto death!!!

Hope I get out of this blue phase soon.

Let's see..

chitz...


Sunday, April 28, 2013

Of Forks,Spoons,and of Course Knives



I had my schooling throughout in a convent. So manners and rules were kind of hard and fast there. At lunchtime we were supposed to keep our tiffins upon  a cloth napkin and eat our  food with a spoon. It was a good thing actually. We learned to use cutlery perfectly and in the manner any convent educated kid should  know.

Ah well, the story changed when I reached college. Gone were the days of spoons and forks. Eat what you get and that too from no matter whose plate was the motto. Cutlery usage was reserved for only those special formal occasions.

And time passed on.
And I got married.

I got married from a "normal" family into an "army" family. My FIL is a retd colonel and my husband is a serving officer. So mostly everything in the house revolved around army customs and systems. Especially the dining part.

Dinner and lunch are an elaborate event at my husband's home. There is setting the table, placing the plates, then the quarter plate, then the fork, spoon, knives and  so on.It took a while for me to get the hang of eating like you do at a restaurant at your home, but then slowly I got used to it.

Eating rice with fork and spoon was okay. But having idlis and dosas with knife and fork,,well not my thing it was.And there were many mishappenings that ensured.

I still remember the time that I was asked to eat a samosa with a fork , after about 15 minutes of unsuccessfully trying to eat it, i finally decided to use my god given hands for the purpose. My in laws were horrified, but I guess mine was a better choice rather than having to spill the samosas on the floor. I would have fared better,if they had given me a knife along with the fork.. :)

And now, I have a kid who is one and a half years old. Like all kids, she too is a messy messy eater.But the best part is that she tries to feed herself nowadays. And for that she insists on giving her a spoon.. Nothing gets into the spoon and her mouth, and she feeds the floor eventually.. But still,she needs a spoon. for everything.

Going the army way I guess.. :)

chitz..



Big Fat Weddings

I don't really understand this concept of the big fat weddings. Invite people enough to fill up a football stadium, get decked up in gold and jewelry more than you can carry, and marry in front of a huge crowd of strangers.

Why can't people just get married in private and leave the others alone?

A post which arose out of the frustration that I have to attend a bunch of weddings of people whom I don't know, and all just because of family commitments..

Maybe the big fat weddings are also a family thing. Just like mine was. I am a bloody hypocrite!!!

chitz...

Colors of the Past

The past is really a happy place to live in. We do not usually remember the mishappenings of the past, but choose to delve in the happy memories. Maybe that  is only one way out for some,who are living in a present of gray hues and fear to look into the future which holds uncertain hopes.

chitz...

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Dress Debacles

I had bought a dress almost 9  months back for my nephew's birthday. But after buying it i felt it was too casual for a function. So it has been stuck in my closet ever since. I had kind of forgotten about the gown until yesterday, when I was packing my dresses.

So now today , I am wearing this gown for a car travel of 5 hours. I am a jeans and top kind of a person for journeys and this is kind of inappropriate and out of my usual liking, as it is long and all. But, still thought will give it a try..

Am too lazy to get up and take a pic of the dress..

Will see how it fares.. :)

chitz...

Friday, April 26, 2013

A Good Bye





Summers were terrible this time. Not even a drop of rain did hit the earth .But today, it rained. It rained so hard that everyone wished for a safe haven to hide. He always loved the rains. And he did wish that it rained one day. But today he despised the rains. For today,he was leaving. 

Leaving for a place far away.Leaving the place he loved a lot. Leaving behind memories that made up his dreams. Leaving his source of existence. And leaving behind her.

She was the best thing that had happened  to him ever. Never did he thought that he would have to leave her. But today, he was leaving. Leaving her behind to embrace a new future. And running off to a far away land to be gulped by the unknown future.

He wanted to see her one last time. But, he wasn't sure whether she would come. For, he himself had asked her not to. He thought goodbyes were hard. He thought leaving without seeing her face would be easy. But now, he just wished for one last glimpse of her. 

The rains were lashing out harder than ever. He felt it was a pathetic fallacy. If everything was on schedule, he would be leaving within some time. The rains made it impossible for him to go out and see her for a last time. "Stupid rain"!!he cursed.

"Why blame the rains"?? a familiar voice asked."It was your wish, your choice".

He stood there speechless. She had come. For one last time.

"I will never forget you" she hugged him." I wanted to see you for the last time."

He wanted to say many things. He wanted to cry out loud. He wanted to ask her never to leave him. But he couldn't.

"Goodbye baby" she said.

She turned around and walked away. And he stood there still. Then he understood what he had just let go. And then for the first time he understood the actual pain of saying a goodbye.

She was walking away. The blue umbrella, her black dress, and her long hair flying about in the wind- He knew that will be the only memory of that place, that he is ever going to have.

A memory called her...

chitz...




Truth hurts.. Realities suck.. The worst part is when you know that it is a reality and you can't change the facts come what may!!!

What to do.. Life is so..
Gotta adjust..
I guess...

chitz...

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Sketches again

I used to sketch regularly, nothing great, just plain normal. And I used to upload them to my blog regularly too. I sketched some last year which I dug out now. Uploading them,so they remain in record.







There were some more ..Dont know where I left them


chitz...

Monday, April 15, 2013

Evolution

I had this poetry phase going in with me.. And most of the outcomes were dark and depressing. But maybe, with some truth in it.

I guess it was a phase. Because I don't feel anything so now.And I am back to writing happy and small musings of my life.

Guess it was a phase. Glad that I evolved!!!

And thanks to you all who helped me in it, knowingly or unknowingly.

Jim Morrison, that definitely includes you!!!

chitz...

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Hot Hot Hot

Summers are horrible this time. So horrible. That many of us are victims to this unwanted fury of nature.

Take  me for instance.Being a Sunday, I thought that I will pamper myself and have a long and refreshing bath. Got up late , decided on an afternoon bath. Wrong decision of the day.

And the fact that the decision was wrong, I understood the moment i hit the showers. The feeling of the moment was that I was under a hot water spring. Blame me, no one else. Who will take a shower at 3.30 in the afternoon on a hot day like this, when all the water in the overhead tank above , is at its boiling point. Thanks to a certain Mr. Sun.

Somebody should come up with a water cooler for bathrooms, just like those geysers. Would have been very helpful on days like this. What say guys???

chitz...

...

Blog needs revamping..
Gotta write something intersting.
Have some many mixed up ideas in this mind of mine. But don't know where to start from. Stumped I am!!!

And its Vishu..



Happy Vishu guys, wishing you all a prosperous year ahead!!!

chitz...

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Fashion Blog

Thinking of starting a fashion blog...

But don't know where to begin from..

Anybody have any ideas?

chitz...
Sabbatical? Huh whats that?

My post and decision last day could not withstand the test of time. I am back to work. Actually went to work today itself. Had a talk with my boss and sorted all the problems.

Yesterdays feelings seem like drunken thoughts. Today I happily worked.

But, I have decided

To write more
To read more
And to have more me time
:)

Buy the way, I made a bag yesterday. Not made, actually stitched, glued up and all.

A torn old bag
And an old cushion cover
Makes my bag..

Will upload pics smtime..

so long...
chitz....

Thursday, April 11, 2013

The Sabbatical





My job is to write.. To write..to correct others writing.. manage all the content.. and all so related activities. I have been writing for long. But all this while I writing was for others. Writing meaningless stuff. Nothing for me.

The drastic effects of this monotonous task is finally showing. Yesterday night I felt blank. Overwhelmed by the happenings at the work place, I became numb. I had projects to complete. Deadlines to meet. But don't know why I didn't do it. For the first time in my life, I completely skipped my work and have no plans of completing it.

I am drained. Emotionally and creatively.

And now I am on a sabbatical
Maybe I will quit.
I need some time for myself.

I like colors in my life. I don't like black and gray hues.
I want creativity. Mechanical actions and thoughts are not for me.
I want good music
I want to enjoy some books
I want to see some places
I want to write..for myself

All in all, I want time for myself...
And I am really hope I get some.

so long folks..

chitz...

Friday, April 5, 2013

Meaningless notes

My day yesterday, ended with a pretty bad note..I found that the stupid bank of mine has looted a considerable amount of money in the name of some crappy maintenance charges, which was quite unacceptable and unexpected. The the IPL match didn't turn out to be as I expected. Well, what more to say, I went to sleep, only to wake up today to find that I was kind of happy. The reason?Unkown. Well. I am happy and I guess that counts.

I am off Facebook, Well it's kind of a sabbatical. As of the moment I find Facebook as a distraction. Don't know how long this will last.

I started hearing songs on 8tracks, the best internet radio ever. Heaven for a music freak like me.

I am hungry, Gotta have breakfast. Then login to work. Love this work from home thingy. But its just another week more..:(..then back to office.

Well....will see about it then. :)

ciao folks
chitz...


Monday, March 25, 2013

Thank you God for everything!!

Really..for what??

You are born by no mistake of yours, grow up in a world or rules and regulations, think you have an awesome family, but then when everything seems so rosy and fair,then tragedy strikes in a way or other.

There were plans to life
There was an aim
There was a destination.
Then strikes the tragedy!!!

You  were pretty
So happy with life and friends
Then tragedy strikes!!!

Its all a saga of tragedies...
And still
I have to believe
I have to be thankful..

I am not an atheist
I believe there is God

Bco'z no one human can play practical jokes this cruel
For that you really need to be a supernatural.

chitz...

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Human beings are two faced..Ain't they?
Some don the act to hide the pain..
Some do it to run away from the truth
And some others they just do it to hurt other

One time or other in our life, we all do the double act..don't we?
And what if we have to live with it throughout our life..
Just pathetic, I say.

chitz...

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Life is strange for sure, sometimes straight., sometimes twisted and dark
You know you will end up getting hurt. But still you go there and do that. Is it temporary insanity? Or is it the way things are just meant to be.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

We meet,we greet,we part..just like that...just to meet somewhere else..some time else.. life's like that...a small package full of surprises......

chitz...

Saturday, January 5, 2013

I believe there is a place beyond everything we see.
An ecstasy, beyond what we feel.
A truth, beyond our intellect to comprehend.
And a meaning to life, more than we can imagine.

chitz....

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Fear and Beyond

Is anyone really fearless? I don't think so. We all are afraid. The only difference is that our fear may be based on different things.Some may be afraid of the known, some afraid of the unknown, some of today, some of the impending tomorrow.

We live on with our fears. Most of the time, it eats us alive. And we continue on like a living corpse. Sometimes, it may explode inside us. And that day everything may change. Then the feeling of fear may even undergo metamorphosis. It may change into sorrow, anger or, even happiness.

And then there is the state of peace. That's the most beautiful thing that fear can change into. And it happens when we realize our fears were just a mirage. A mirage that prevents us from seeing the truth that lies beyond. The worldly ties, the fights of everyday life, the unnecessary competitions, everything seems so futile.

And then we see that place. Your happy place. It will be different for you and me. Wherever it is, that will be the place which is in our happy thoughts..always.

Reaching there, we start to live again... Like the flowing melodies of a beautiful song.

chitz