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Friday, December 31, 2010

Achu achu and more achu...

My dear achu....rather our dearest achu.....

I still remember the day you came 2 our house looking just like a furry white egg......just 11 years back.....

I still remember how you swept us all of your feet with ur poohs and whims...
I still remember all the bubblegums on you...n the pains 2 get rid you of those...
I still remember remember the makeshift bed basket I made 4 u.....

I still remember searching for the perfect name 4 the perfect thing like you....fluffy...snowy..n finally settling upon .....Achu....

I remember how u fought wid me...
I remember how we became the master and shishya of kung fu

I remember how you were always a part of us..

The endless dairy milks , cakes and gulab jamuns we had 2gether..

And now I realize I was lucky 2 b there 2 say gudbye 2 you...
And I was privileged 2 b there @ ur last moments....

even though i cant still believe it....




My dear Achu...there is no reason which I can find for your untimely departure.
And as this year ends..my dear ACHU.........


Hope u r somewhere near us...

LISTENING...HOW MUCH WE ALL LOVE YOU
AND HOW MUCH WE ALL MISS YOU....

always and forever...

chitz.....

My Bengali Diaries :The End Of The Year & Happy New Year!!!!!

My dear people...who take the pains to read my blog.....

My year of 2010 is coming 2 an end...a very bad year...as far as i cud remember...
A year of loss and of gains very less........in a nutshell......the worst year in my life so far...as I can remember...

Hope the next year is a better one....

Wish you all a very happy 2011

Have a great year ahead!!!!

lots of love....

chitz....

Monday, December 27, 2010

An ode to you winter....



Winter.....my favorite season of all times...
I wait for you..and i hope you know that....

Each snow flake that falls ;it symbolizes a new hope for me...
Its a possibility unknown....
A hope unsaid,....
An a dream unexplored........

The white around me makes me so happy
The feel of snow in my hands,gives me a pleasure which I have never known...
Takes me to a high I have never been,....

I love the chills you give me.....
I enjoy the warmth you offer me at that old fire place.....

The foggy mornings n early nights....
The dew drops showered from the leaves...

Winter....i love them too...

I love you more bcoz i hope to meet him with with you....
I like the warmth of his arms.....in those cold nights you offer me....'
I like to watch the falling snow..with him beside me...

Winter...i love you for all this and many more...

chitz.....

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

For You......

To be loved is a wonderful thing.....

I know you love me a lot....

And yeah.....I know that your silence speaks a thousand words

But believe me darling....

Nothing ever compares to what I feel

when you tell me that you love me...

even if its for an infinite number of times.....

chitz......

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Why should I??????

Why should I care??
Why should I love??
Why should I wait..n lose my sleep over you???

Please temme....Why should I do all these..when you never ever dont!!!!!!!!!

- thoughts of a disgruntled ,frustrated and a very angry soul

The desperate times.....

The desperate times....

When you just want to say sorry...
But there is no one to listen....

When all you want is to relive those moments..
And all you know is that the sands of time are just flowing away....

And all you see is a life going past in front of you...
A life of crushed dreams and lost hopes.....

And you are no one,but a silent helpless spectator......

And in those times....
life will seem to be nothing .....but a cruel cruel joke.....

chitz....

Saturday, December 11, 2010

She knew he was the wind which brushed past her face...
She could feel him holding her hand when she walked alone....
She could feel him ...kissing her to sleep on those lonely nights...

He didn't have a face..
Their relationship didn't have a name....

But still he was her very own.....
Some one whom she had dreamt into her life....
Someone who would be with her always,forever and an eternity beyond that.....

He was her very own enigma........

chitz.....

Saturday, December 4, 2010

A Thought........

Why the hatred........
why the fights...........

for life is nothing....

but what just disappears in the blink of an eye......

(dedicated to a dear friend who will be missed always...............)

chitz.....

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

A Conversation....



Relative 1: hey long time, how r u?
me: fine aunty,how r u?

R1:so where r u now?howz every1 @ home?
me:good..m at so n so place..

R1:so,you work now?
me:yea...

R1:really,I thought you were not working.
me: smiles(in my mind,then y did u ask)

R1:so where do u work?
me:I work for a web portal

R1:huh?what is that?
me:I work as a content developer for a company

R1:huh?u r an engineer rite?
me:yea..but i m not working as one...

R1:oh,so u didn't get any placements?
me:no..i m working as a writer..something different from what I am trained for...

R1:yea...OK,OK...but you should have worked as an engineer...
me:I don't want to,I love my job..I love to write...

R1:they pay you for simply writing?
me:NO,I DO IT FOR CHARITY...

R1:really???
me:noo ..they do pay me for "SIMPLY WRITING?"

R1:hmm..ok..cant fight with fate...not everybody can get a good job..look at you poor thing..what all hopes we had,,one day we all thought you would become a BIG engineer...

me:and do what???build bridges n dams???

R1:noooo,y should engineers do that?contractors do that....We dreamed that you would become a big software engineer

me:I never studied to become a software engineer..my stream was completely different...

R1:oh...so,you didnt do engineering?n your mother told you were?

Me:I did do engineering......but my stream was Biochemical Engineering...

R1:huh...ok..but still you could have worked as an engineer for a good company...

Me:I work for a good company...

R1:but..you are not an engineer..you simply write stuff right?something like a private secretary??

me:Wht???huh???what are you....Oh,pleasee...(in my mind,where did this private secretary come from?)

R1:what all you could have been..a DOCTOR ,an ENGINEER....

anyways,nice to see you....but I tell you,writing and all... seriously....I don't know...

me:aunty,,if you don't know..then y comment??

R1:ah ohk..you were always like this...never did listen to anyone..anyways I gotta go now...

me:Ohk..byeee( thank GOD)

End Of Conversation!!!!!

Notes to self:

Never jump in front of these relatives....Never try to explain things to them....

Why to complicate stuff????
Let Ignoramuses be ignoramuses....:D

chitz....

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Some Rainy Memories....

Disclaimer:Long post again,Didn't mean to bore anybody.But jotting down memories could sometimes make you lose track..and hence I shall please be forgiven .
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Its the last few weeks @ my hometown ........

The rains seem to be in an unrelenting mood over here..much to the wrath and complaints of my mom..who is in a blame mode,blaming the rains for the clothes which can't be dried up properly..blaming the rains for disturbing her shopping sessions n visits to the temple...

That for you folks is my mom, who was only complaining just a few weeks back as of how hot it is,and how it never rains nowadays..:D

But seriously,I am in love with the rains...I don't mind if my clothes dry up a little late..or I don't mind even if I get completely wet when I go outside...

In fact I love to get drenched in the rains... I have many many beautiful memories which I can link with rains..

Memories of a beautiful and fun filled child hood playing in the rains...

I used to wait for my summer vacations to be with my cousins..And I was truly blessed to live in a place where the rain Gods did always tend to show mercy on us almost every time,even when summer was supposed to be at its peak....

The first drop of rains and it was time for us kiddos to go out,for that ritual rain bath....

I should say,that kind of fun I have never have had after that...

Ironically,its been some time that I have spoken with some of my "co rain bathers"(yea,I just invented that phrase)..the people who defined my childhood vacations....due to lack of time,burdens of an adult life..and in some cases,due to a difference of opinion..:)..

Maybe reliving our memories again through those rainy sessions we had,might help us to patch up..should seriously try it out!!

The place I lived until sometime back was a very beautiful one.The experience of a rain over there was priceless.

In summers,when it used to rain, the clouds used to come down ,down so close to the earth that you would feel like you could catch them with your hands.And a drizzle during winters meant snowfall in the hills surrounding us.....

I loved that place..and I wana go back again....but I don't know when....:(

I have had many long walks in the rain...

Most of the times with my friends, and in that case it will be at least 3 people under one umbrella... struggling for a teeny weeny bit of shelter

And sometimes alone..that would be when I am sad..pathetic fallacy I would say.....

Of course,there are memories of many many beautiful days I spent inside my room..doing just nothing,but listening to my favorite music ,enjoying the drizzle outside and just dreaming, dreaming and dreaming on....

Rains again bring memories of those many many bike rides I had ,in which I used to get wet from top to toe..but cared none the less..I still have those bike rides..and I still love it...

And I will never forget the cold coffee during the rains ( yea,cold coffee n rains,i know it is crazy..but what to do I am sometimes a bit crazy)..

Its still raining outside as I jot down this post....

I love everything about the rains....

The feel of the raindrops on my skin....
The sound of the rain against the ground....
The fresh smell of the earth after rains...

And each and every memory of mine associated with rains.....will always remain priceless for me.....

chitz....

Sunday, November 21, 2010

A Musical Tag....

I have been tagged by Vijay....a musical tag that too..lets c how this one will turn out to be...

So here are the rules...

1.Put your itunes,Windows media player etc on shuffle

2.For each question,press the next button to get your answer..

3.You must write that song down no matter how silly it sounds.

This ought 2 b good...so here goes

1.If someone asks you, "are you okay??" you say:

Power of goodbye........ by Madonna....

certainly a weird answer!!!

2.How would you describe yourself??

A little high....by Simon Webbe...

hahaha.....Excatly my condition...i had a wonderful b'day party yesterday..:)

3.What do you like in a guy/girl?

Say You'll be there....by Spice Girls..duh!!!!!!

4.How do you feel today?

I Just want you to know....by Backstreet Boys....

should have made sense if there was something "sensible" following those lines..

5.What is your life's purpose?

Mysterious girl ...by Peter Andre..

Seriously,my life's purpose is not to be a mysterious girl!!!!

6.Whats your motto?

Holiday..by Green Day...

sigh..I wish my life was a loong holiday!!!!

7.What do your friends think of you?

The Hardest Thing..by 98 degrees.....

hmph!!not at all funny!!!!!!

8.What do your parent's think of you?

In Repair...by John Mayer..

yea..they think of me as a defective piece in constant repair..

9.What do you think of often?

Hai Junoon...from the movie newyork,...

I do think abt somethings with junoon...:)

10.What is 2+2

Heaven.....by Bryan Adams..

I never did know tht..:)

11.What do you think of your best friend?

When a man loves a woman....

hahahahahahaha..i love this one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(i don''t know who sung dis song)...

12.What is your life story?

One Love..by U2..

hmph..not my story....

13.What do you want to be when you grow up??

Boulevard of broken dreams...by Green DAY.....

Glad I didn't bcome one...:)

14.What do you think when you see the person you like?

Jiyaa Na Jaaye..by Faakhir

yea jiya na jaaye tumhaare bina..:)

15.What will you dance to at your 4th wedding anniversary?

I love it when we do...by Ronan Keating..

sure,I will dance to that...:D

16.What will they play at your funeral?

Rhythm Divine..by Enrique..

bet enrique never meant that song for a funeral..

17.What is your hobby/interest?

Tum Mile..from the movie Tum Mile....

what is tht supposed to mean??

18.What is your biggest fear?

Crying..by Aerosmith....

haha..certainly very not my biggest fear!!!!

19.What is your biggest secret?

Teri Meri Aaankhon mein sapne hai....by Colonial Cousins...

yea..secret dreams lie deep in my eyes...

20.What do you want right now??

You are not alone...by Michael Jackson....

nothing related to what I want right now....but still a nice one...

21.What do you think of your friends??

Take me to your heart..By MLTR....

love to be close with my close friends..:)

22.When you want to rush to the toilet..what do you think?

Waiting for tonight....by Jennifer Lopez...

haha...if i can wait until tonite..thn y rush???

23.Person you hate the most is in front of you,what will you tell the person?

Take me to your heart..BY MLTR...

fat chance!!!!

24.You have just won a lottery,what will you sing?

Walk away...by westlife...

seriously..walking away from a lottery..i might b a bit crazy,not that much to give up a lottery though..:P

25.What will you post this as?

Yaad piya ki aane lagi..by Falguni Pathak...

figure that out yourself...:0

I loved the tag..i loved the weird answers and the sometimes right answers...

I am not tagging neone in particular..nebody who wants to complete this one is very much welcome to...I would love to read your musical answers...:)

chitz....

Friday, November 19, 2010

Tids and Bits.....

Warning:Painstakingly long post..nothing is in order...one event has no relation to the previous or succeeding ones...everything is just penned down rather typed down randomly...read at your own risk...

These are just some parts of my life over here.....

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Just 3 months back I lost my Pomeranian of 11 years...getting over it was hard,but finally I got over it...

Well,we miss him..and will always..and the void can never be filled...

I was away from home for about 2 weeks.When I came home,even before I crossed the gate I was greeted by the tiny bow-wows of a very hyperactive white four legged being...

Well,not my new dog..hes my cousin's who is a home stay guest as of now..He is a tiny pomy who goes by the name of Mittu..

My 9 year old German shepherd is afraid to place his legs down for the fear of stamping Mittu who is always running beneath him..

And the rest of us in the house can't place our legs down even if we want to, for the sake of a bruise free pair of legs....yea...the tiny pomy is in the "teething" stage..

If sources are to be believed he has already eaten 4 of his chew toys and is currently on the search for a new and more durable one..

And not much to my amusement,he finds my hands and legs very convenient to bite into...

I love you Mittu.....but please grow up...I need my hands and legs maybe for another some more decades .:)

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November is proving to be a very expensive month for me..

Knowingly or unknowingly from the very first day of this month I started splurging ..And the splurge still continues...

Ironically 75 percent of the people I know,including yours truly was born in November!!!!!..

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Chronologically speaking, I have umpteen number of relatives...

Keeping in mind matters like my well being and of course theirs,I have conveniently forgotten/not tried to get acquainted with/ran away from /snubbed a portion of my very large family...

But there are times,especially times when you are home on a vacation or when you attend a relative's wedding,that you have to run into such characters....characters who talk like they have known you throughout your lifetime,sometimes maybe extending into the previous births also.....

and you stand there wondering..what the hell!!!!!!

I am on a very extended vacation..and believe me I have had more than my share of such characters ...n many a times I wanted to just walk off in the middle of a not so good conversation..but sadly,I am not able to till now...

Hmph..the pains I have to bear to avoid the " how dare you" glares from my mom...:)

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I visited a relative in the hospital today..and I found out that she spends her time in the hospital bed by writing poetry...N more ..she has even published poems...

Should say she is pretty good...guess I should also start stretching my imagination from now...

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I let my hair down and I partied hard yesterday...I should say I had a good time after a really long time....

We had the party at a beach side shack ...

I was born and brought up in the land of beaches..Still I had never found the beach so appealing as I did yesterday......

Maybe it is not just the beach..:D:D

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Got lots more to write...Will update soon...

As of now,I have to go....

until the next post folks...

chitz...

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Happy Diwali...



Its That Time Of Crackers,Lights And Sweets...
Its That Time Of Happiness ,Joy And Celebrations....
Its Diwali........

Wishing Everybody A Very Happy And Prosperous Diwali...

chitz.....

Sunday, October 24, 2010

To You,My Dear Friend....

For the past few weeks my life had been nothing but a straight line.And that line connected my bed and my computer.

Its practically been nothing but alternating sessions of work and rest.....

You sit sometime and work,you get a backache,you go to bed,lie down..fulfilling the duty of bed rest..again bac 2 the computer for work,thn bac 2 bed..

and that kind of summed up my life in my room,post surgery.Going down the stairs was a bit difficult,so the dining hall came to me...:)

and the end result of the "igloo"ing up in my room is that just the work and rest and no play made me a dull,monotonous and unimaginative person..who couldn't even think up of a few lines to jot down in her own very dear space in the virtual world...

even my dreams were so boring,that i guess i was falling asleep even in them...

then i got out of my room ,n out of my house,n back to roaming around..

and how i missed the world outside my room...i only realized it when i got out of my prison of recuperation...

I was happy,very much...But still...something was missing...my soul which appreciated the lighter and beautiful things in life had become numb and dumb....

Out in the world again,i got the chance to meet an old friend,quite unexpectedly...someone whom I hadn't seen for the past 2 years...

Meeting old friends is indeed a joy....If the meeting is unexpected,then the better..

And I say this from the bottom of my heart,

my dear friend.....

thanks for meeting me.....
thanks for letting me relive all those memories.....
thanks for taking me again through the pages of those books we read and loved......
thanks for letting me cry over my losses once again......
thanks for bringing the dead,dusty and long forgotten part inside me back to life....

and finally, thanks for being my friend...:)

Sometimes it just takes a few people and a few instances.......

And now I am back to my old self....

And I am just loving it...:)

chitz....

Sunday, October 3, 2010

the past 3 months....n now!!!

My dear people of blogger ville....I faced the knife last week..and came out, well..a bit hurt but for a better cause...

That was a purely literary statement with no hidden implications...

Speaking normally,I had to undergo a surgery last week...n by the grace of God i m recovering at a very fast rate,than expected by anybody...especially yours truly..:)...

Thanks to my doctor too..:)..shes really an angel sent from heaven above..

N now i am forced to have a month's rest..no,I am not complaining or whining..yes..i have matured and become sensible..:D

When I came to my native 3 months back,me and everyone around me had a very different set of intentions in mind..And now,the tables have turned completely..and I am going back next month ,not acheiving what I intended to, but richer ,fulfilled and more happier than i was..

Yes,I know I am talking in bits and pieces and maybe it doesn't make any sense.But the above said incidents are a summary of my life in the past 3 months..which was scarier than the scariest roller coaster ride I have ever gone through...

n uncertainty was the only constant which prevailed and haunted me like those dementors from harry potter,feeding on my happiness and pushing me into the gravest and deepest pits of sorrow and depression...

n the saying was proved again and again...

Man proposes..God disposes...

Yes,God does dispose...but for a higher cause,the disposal is actually a better proposal put in front of us..but again His ways are quite mysterious and unfathomable by the mere human mind...

And all one requires is to see that silver lining on the edge of the dark cloud which looms above your head..I am happy,because I finally succeeded in finding out that silver lining...

I know I am talking proverbs,sayings and nonsensical stuff..but hey..when one is happy,which I am after a long time..:)..there can't be any complaints..

I was meaning to write about my surgery and look what all I have written...

Anyways..life is back in track almost..will be fully in track in another 2 months when I go back home and see my better half again...

I got a nice family,a job I love...n I am happy...

I say..life is good again...:)

cheers everyone...




chitz...

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Jealousy never did any man any good nor will it do any good....
Can't fathom why people can't stand other people prosper or living happily...

The world is really a stage and everybody is a masked actor...
What lies deep beneath that layers of paint... maybe even the actor is confused...

Is the truth really one or is it a truth of convenience,of hatred and all the ill in the world...

Who can we trust,really?
Is friendship,loyalty and love all an old wives tale....which never was.??

And the truth ..will we ever know what it is????

chitz...

Thursday, September 16, 2010

:)

bad things been happening all around me left,right and center.....either dis or that..

life is giving me so many lemons that i can make pitchers full of lemonades to last for a long time...

n i decided to make those lemonades..:)

First i thought it was an unlucky hat causing all this..even though it was a beautiful one,its shredded and torn to pieces and disposed off now..

Then i thought it was an unlucky ring...couldn't throw away that ring bcoz it cost me some heavy bucks..have deposited it safely somewhere...

mom claims it to be due to the wrong alignment of stars as said by some bejan daruwala

i have had a very memorable one n a half months which is by not any means worth remembering...

i was sulking throughout that my sister said that it will turn out to be my permanent expression

Whatever i ,have left sulking now...
i have moved on...
I have accepted the facts..

n to summarize it I have stopped thinking...:)

n finally i am back to normal and happy..

till the next normal post guys...

chitz...

Thursday, September 2, 2010

TAG TIME!!!!

tagged after a long time..this time courtesy vijay..:)..so here goes 3x7 things about myself....

3 places i would pack my travel bag for


I am very much a hill station kind of a person and not at all a beach or tropical climate person...The first place would be switzerland,my dream destination.Second shimla..been there,loved the place and would want to go back again and again..and last udhampur..most of you might not have heard about this place,it is a small district in the state of jammu and kashmir...have stayed there for a year,would love to go back there again..away from the maddening crowd...serene and peaceful(yea,places in j n k can be peaceful too..:))

3 On-Screen characters i love to watch

1.Gerald Butler in P.S I love you(love him in the movie)
2.Dicaprio in titanic
3.Sharukh Khan in Chak De India


3 moods that describes me the best

Mood changes with situations,there are no 3 specific moods

Happy-in the company of the people i like
Aloof and quiet-if i am forced to b with someone i dont like
Short fused-i guess that can be considered as a mood.Can be considered as an alternative term for crazy..It happens when people tick me off in the wrong way..

n many more...

3 things i always think of doing on a weekend... but never did.. :)

I am stumped here..:D..somehow i end up doing those things i want finally..:)

3 things from my childhood that i cant forget

The first memory from my childhood will be my favourite small cane chair which was fondly named kochu kasera(meaning small chair).The second will be all those happy vacations spent at my native.The third will be Mickey,a wonderful Labrador


3 things i wud never say no to

1.Chocolates
2.Shopping
3.Time out with the people i like..

3 things i cant live without

without considering the living beings,the non-animated stuff would be..my pc with the internet connection,my cell phone and my i pod:)

N yea...i am passing on the tag to my 3 of my favorite bloggers..chanz, atul and sans...rest of my favorite people,you all will be tagged again very soon...:):)

n the rules are ...

- Tag as many u want!
- Link their pages in your tag post
- Post a message / leave a comment screaming that they r tagged
- Mention the person who tagged you in your tag post, and link their blog.
- Write 3 X 7 things about yourself ..

until the next post..

happy tag time people..:)

chitz....

Monday, August 30, 2010

Good bye Achu...


My doggy achu died today...:(:(:(

m so sad...

i thought i wud have 2 never see dis coz i live away most of the time..

But he chose to say goodbye lying in my hands...

guess that is the better way thn jus a phon call conveying the news

we all will miss u

we all love you achu..u r the best one ever.....

goodbye achu....


chitz...

Monday, August 23, 2010

A bedtime story

My sis doesn't sleep in her room nowadays.Reason : she is pretty sure that some one is following her and switching on the lights in her room in the middle of the nights.She claims that the paranormal activity might be due 2 a handsome vampire stalking her.Me thinks that it is a twilight overdose and that Edward guy has gotten in2 her head.

Whatever,handsome vampire or not...she has shifted to my room as of now.I don't have any problem with that..but its the excess baggage she brings along which creates a problem.Along with her,comes her soulmates ie 6 pillows.Even if you want to be surrounded by pillows,there can be a maximum of 4.But no,my sister needs 6 pillows.And so in my bed 2 people of medium stature and 9 pillows(yes,the rest 3 are mine:)) sleep now..

Adjustable,I can say...but the problem occurs when my father leaves for work.His work allows him to come home only twice a month.That leaves mom alone for the rest of the time.The stories said by my sis has activated the fear factor in my mom,that she refuses to sleep alone now.And so finally,its 2 medium bulit and 1 well built person along with 12 pillows sleeping on my bed.

Noone is ready to sacrifice their pillows.And thus we all sleep along with our extended family of 12 pillows...one pillow crazy family u might say...

As for my sister's vampire stalker,guess he didnt know she shifted rooms..n i pray he never knows...:D

chitz...

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Goodbye....

Horton said"A person is a person,not matter how small he is"..
And I add,"losing that person might be one of the hardest things you will ever have to face in your life.."

I lost someone very near and dear...
Someone very close to me...
it was unexpected and I was shaken off the track completely

I never thought I would get over it,but now i guess somehow I have manged to...
Its true..time is a real healer...

I know I will never get that person back..and no use of crying over and over..
Tears actually fail to wash those memories away...

Guess should be happy for the unbound joy which filled those moments related with that person...

Now its time to say the final goodbye..

Good bye dear...
I am sure your memories will definitely bring a tear to my eyes always...

Wherever you are I am sure it will be a better place than your previous home and you will be happier than ever...

Know that your life wasn't lost without a cause...

Goodbye...

chitz...

Friday, July 30, 2010

Home Sweet Home....

I have been traveling throughout for the past 3 years..Stayed many places,met many people...But the feeling of comfort and coziness of my home was missing everywhere...Maybe it is because you are born and brought up at once place that there are so many memories associated with the place that the emotions fail to leave you....Sometimes caught up in the mad run called life we tend to forget about all these and just move on mechanically ..But then comes those moments when you are alone and then all these memories come rushing back to you with a tender touch....

Maybe I am stretching out a little..All I wanted to say is that "There is no place like home and no food like mom's food"...

This is an universal truth...i feel...(statement open to debate..:))

And I am lucky enough to come back and enjoy those precious moments @ my home..I jus relocated again...This time to my home though..:)...Its just a matter of months before I leave again...And all this relocation,shifting and a new job on the way has made me quite busy,leaving me almost null time with my blog....But will update whenever possible..

Until the next post...

Keep reading,keep writing...

chitz....

Thursday, July 15, 2010

A train journey......

The train had half an hour halt at that station...I was trying to read one of those paulo cohelo books..I am not his big fan,since its very difficult for me to understand what he means by saying things in a very complicated manner which could have been said in a much more simpler way...since the book was a gift,and moreover i didn't have anything else to give me company during the rest of the journey(since my co-passenger had asked me to stop my constant chattering and sit in a corner silently and on top of that he was using my i-pod;how arrogant can you get???,and since i have been fed up of observing and counting the rail tracks and their merging and separating patterns ;and since my eyes couldn't take any more of the natural beauty outside) I was stuck up with the book...

suddenly I saw my co-passenger rush out with a bag of half eaten banana fries ,a packet of biscuit and biriyani which yours truly had ordered and hadn't eaten since I lost my hunger after I saw the biriyani.At this point I have to tell you people my co-passenger is none other than my very own and one and only husband.And so his sudden exit like this naturally arose questions in my ever questioning mind.Peeping out of the window was the only option I had since I didn't want my husband to think I was observing him,after he had asked me to stop chattering and sit in a corner..:)...

And then I saw him on the railway tracks..It was an old man,dressed in rags..He was searching for something in the waste lying around and was licking the papers and eating scraps of food thrown out into the tracks...condition-worse than pathetic..

I wasted my lunch,and here is one person searching for food in the trash..

And then I saw my husband..He came up to that old man,talked something to him and gave him the food he had in his hands..The look in the old man's face once he saw the food was not one which can be forgotten..

The train started moving and my husband came in.I returned to my normal position as if nothing had happened..

after sometime

he:"dont you wana know where I went"?
me:smiles..(in my heart.".he talked first..:)...i won")....."i know,i saw.....u r a very nice person,love you!!!"
he:smiles..."love you too"..

Its a good thing to have such people in your life who helps you in being human...

And for me,it was just a small reality check given by GOD to make me realize how blessed i truly am....

Like somebody had said, you can be a successful businessman,a good engineer,a scholar and so on..but what is the use if you are all these and not a good human being??

chitz....

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Back to blogging....

And I am back to blogging after a long time..And man did i miss my web page...Many things have been going on lately....will update you guys about that on a later date..

there is a pic i would like to share with you people at the moment..some months back i had written a post about my nephew saving a small squirrel.. http://cheamanu.blogspot.com/2010/03/boy-who-cares.html

We were all doubtful about the little things survival..but thanks to GOD and my nephew,the little one has grown up 2 be quite a bundle of joy...



Thts him,named fondly as unnikutan indulging in his favourite pasttime of eating...

Haven't seen him after he grew up,but hoping to do very soon...

Thats for now folks...

until the next post...

ciao...

chitz....

Thursday, June 10, 2010

life...seriously what is it???

They say we learn from our mistakes..so that we don't commit them again in the future...
But there are many occasions in life where there is no replay and it is just a one time affair..and then it is quite a waste even if we learned from a mistake/sin we committed at that time in life...

seriously don't you people think there should be more second options in life?more replays and retakes so that even though we won't attain perfection our life can be etched closer to being happy at times??

and they say life has choices....
and they say all that happens happens for the best...

sometimes not being able to correct those mistakes you did...sometimes being just pushed into shallow deep space just like that...

finally just relating everything to another high profile player in everybody's life known as fate...

Fate..luck....

They say work hard and make your life..you work hard and you don't make it,they say its fate,destiny,pre-written..

could there be anything more contradictory than than those feelings which reside in a human mind at the same time....

why is life so mixed up at times???

chitz...

Thursday, June 3, 2010

a small tale...

Disclaimer:the below mentioned is not a universal truth by any chance..

a boy and a girl marries..marriage fixed and arranged by the parents since the boy and girl are of "MARRIAGEABLE AGE" and nice proposals wont come if they r gone past that milestone age...

3 months down the marriage
any good news??....no...

6 months down the marriage
any good news?? ..no....

an year later??
still no good news??..thts bad...

parents to kids...

what is your problem?
do you guys need to see a doc??
after all the puja n everything we did..
how can dis happen...

girl and boy to parents:

we aren't ready for a child..

parents:
what do you mean?god..what will i answer everybody..how will i face my friends now?guess i am not lucky enough to see a grandchild..

intervening public to girl and boy:

no good news till now?anything wrong with you people?you guys should see a doc...atleast think of your parents...

girl and boy to intervening public:

just smiles..we haven't thought of it yet.

a more open girl and boy to the intervening public:

None of your business..:)

Here the important problems as per the parents here are:
they are answerable to the public,as if it was obvious that it was the public who gathered money for the marriage to happen..
everyone of my friends has a grand child ,n my son/daughter has obviously lost the rat race which is a heinous crime...

The important problems as per the intervening public are
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING..

The intervening public obviously do not have any other job!!!!
the actual problems overlooked:
r the couple ready in all the ways for a baby??
do they want a baby of their own now??

persuasion and emotional blackmailing follows to the core...

finally the baby comes...

th baby arrives..everyone is happy...

girl going for work after a month..

everything going smooth...almost...

again a month passes...

MIL/MOM whoever is in charge of the baby to the girl...

u leave for office daily n come back in the evening late..i have to look after the baby for all this time..i am not getting any younger at all..

girl:but i cant get out early..they wont pay me for nothing...and we now have added financial responsibilities with the baby..

MOM/MIL: so who am I? maid???

a maid/aayah arrives soon to take care of the baby..

grandparents to everyone else:

they don't trust us..otherwise why should they keep the maid when we are here??ha,after all we have done for them.....

Intervening public to grandparents:
yeah..too bad..if they knew they would have these problems,y did they go for a baby?too bad..

Believe me,this happens!!!

even though there are many variations and happy endings,this too does happen....

its a weird world right???





:)

chitz.....

Sunday, May 23, 2010

And They Ran Away......

i got a phone call yesterday evening.it was my maid's husband..inquiring whether she was there..i told him she wasn't and end of conversation..

today morning my maid came

me:ur hus had called up yesterday..where were u?
maid:i had a fight him..
me:so?
maid:so i temporarily ran away...
me:what?
maid:yea ..ran away for sometime(in her dialect:mei thodi der keliye bhaag gayi thi)
me:thodi der keliye?(for some time)
she:haanji(yea)

me confused and dumbstruck..n she goes on with her daily chores...

thinking about it later,this is the 2nd instance in a month where i came across someone running away because they had a quarrel with their spouse..

if running is a solution to quarrels,we would see lots of marathon runners n joggers around us always...




some runners run away and fade into the oblivion...
n some runners are followed by other runners who should run faster than the former to bring them back..
n then there are some runners like my maid..who run away for sometime...and when they get bored they go back..

if u run away..do run away..why take the pains of coming back and undoing all your running..why trouble others to run after you??

n for me,if i had ever started running,in 2 years of my married life,don't know how many kilometers i would have covered by now...:D...

chitz....

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

A Life In Dreams...

she would be asleep very soon,at least she hoped so..

for her now,nights were the best part of her life..the lonely nights which she once hated..for the sleeplessness and the nightmares..that was history now...now she waited for the day to end..she waited for the time she could go back to sleep...sleep,her best friend..a sleep where she would dream..

A dream in which she was devoid of all her pain...a parallel world she lived in...where she recognized and loved each and every every face she met...the feeling was like a faded hope come into life..like the sweetest memory ever..she dreamt herself into a world of hope,joy and comfort....where she still had that shoulder to cry on..where the ringing of the church ells woke her up every morning..where she sat by the stream for hours...where poetry flowed through her like a sweet melody..

n then she got up again..back into the cruel world..a world which gave her only pain..where for her music,beauty and love had ceased to exist...a struggle for some more hours...lying in the bed again unable to move by her own will and wish..a beautiful mind in a dead body..that was her now....

And there she lay waiting for those dreams to visit her..

To deliver her from the cruel world....

To sleep in one world to wake up into a more beautiful one...

For in her dreams she found reality....

And in her dreams she found her life again.....

chitz...

Sunday, May 9, 2010

..................

I know what you mean when you look deep into my eyes....
I know it is for me that you wait hours and hours, just for a glimpse of me ...
And I know,you will be there for me ,always n always..

Even though you never tell me anything.....

But I wish you just knew....
That my silence always speaks a thousand words....

I wish you just understood...
Those unspoken words which fills the moments between u and me..

And you know I love to walk in the rain...
But I just wish you knew

I like it better , when you walk beside me holding my hand.......

chitz.....

Sunday, April 18, 2010

My bengali diaries-part 9..

well people,I am back to bengal after a long time of almost 2 n a half months..did i miss the place?yeah,i did..but now i miss my home back in kerala too..guess that is my life..always torn between two places....

Nothing much changed over here in the last 2 months except for the complete ban of polythene bags..which i didn't know and as a result of which we (me and my husband),were forced to walk huge cardboard cartons..guess they should have at least issued paper bags....

N winters are gone over here..but it is raining throughout..mornings,afternoons and evenings look almost the same....the night is different as it robs out the very mere existence of light...but i love dis weather..a very pleasant change from the merciless sun in kerala..yup..summers haven't started over here and u can still go on without air conditioners or fans...

And my doggy he is still around and the same..and the exterior of my apartment was repainted during my leave..now everything looks brand new n fresh..

That is all from here right now...
will be back with more bengali stories...

till then...

ciao...

chitz...

Thursday, April 15, 2010

WHO AM I????

There were times he looked into the mirror and asked himself...who are you????
There were times when he looked into a photograph and wondered "is it me"????
And then there was this sleepy moments out of his soul when he felt,'Is that me'???

He thought he knew....
He thought she would level him.....
He thought those happiest moments in life would provide the answer...
He thought the kids would lead him to the better life....
He thought his mother's agony would soothe him...

But what he didn't knew...they were all thoughts...
Soul sprang out of his body again and again...
Life stood still for moments and so on...
And the meaning of his existence...he could never decipher....

And that time when he felt out of his body...
That time he felt detached with himself...
Beyond that it was darkness and more...

The body was lifeless...
And his soul was empty.....

And then he realized that was him......
That is my family.....

But chances were nil and moments were zero....

Can you hear me..he wanted to ask....
I am sorry...he wanted to say...

But all he could here was.."Why did you..we were all there for you"....

I wanna come back..he screamed...
But nobody could hear...
I love you all...he blurted...
But none listened...
I am sorry ...he said...
But nobody cared....


And then again it crept into his thoughts...

What is me??
Where am I??
Who am I??

will I ever know????

The soul moved on unsatisfied and unrelieved....

And that was him...
An answer less journey....

chitz....

Monday, April 12, 2010

Tag n Award

blogging after almost 2 weeks..n that turned out to be an award..which came along wid a tag..

N the rules....

1. Thank the person who gave it to you.
2. Copy the award and put it on your Blog.
3. List 3 things you love about yourself
4. Post a picture you love (e.g. a person you adore etc.)
5. Tag 5 people you wish to pass this award on to

Thank u chanz for the award...u really r a sweetheart...:)



n 3 things i like about myself..

well..

1.i like the fact that i got a heart which appreciates music n art...

2.my love towards animals..especially doggies..

3.my attitude of letting people live their own life..

N the pic will be..



Thats one doggie who can smile really well..:)

n the 5 i wish t tag will be

1.princess..
2.wolvi
3.Hary
4.Vishal
5.Nj...

Thats for now folks...

ciao..

chitz....

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The late rains.......

The dark clouds loomed largely in the sky.But he knew it wont rain.It has been the same story for the past many weeks.

The earth looked dry without the rain.

The earth ,just like him he thought,barren and dry;barren and dry without her.And she,she was like those dark clouds up in the sky,promising the earth the pleasure and joy of rain.A promise so near,so close,but never attainable.Always giving you hopes so high,but crushing them and breaking you down at the last moment.

And he, always like the earth,waiting desperately for the clouds to rain...waited for her

The ringing of the doorbell woke him up from his thoughts.

"Sorry,I know,I am late and I took a long time in deciding....but I am finally here"..

He couldn't believe that she was standing in front of him..More than that he couldn't believe what he had heard...

She was standing there smiling at him..

The feeling he had was unexplainable...His joy was out of bounds...

"Wont you ask me to come in?It may rain anytime now"..she said

He looked outside..it had already started raining....

He smiled at her....

Suddenly he realized that the best things in life are worth a long wait..

Because She had come finally..And so did the rain.....



chitz...

Monday, March 22, 2010

The boy who cares...

I have a nephew who is into animals and birds and stuff..when he was a small kid his "helping hand" extended towards animals usually turned out to be a"destructive hand";knowingly or unknowingly.What i am trying to imply is the fact that the birds or animals which he tried to keep wid him didn't have much of a life to live..

Well that is an old story.Now he has grown up to be 15 or so but his liking towards animals and birds still remain.The only difference now being that he is more sensible and the rescue mission of animals he takes up is kinda successful...

3-4 days back he came home with a squirrel that he found from the road..a baby squirrel,which somehow had landed up in the middle of the road..My good Samaritan nephew took up the job of taking the baby squirrel to the vet and then took it home..which cost him his tuition class and earned him some beatings from his teacher..But he is not.. the one to be disheartened..:)Now he takes care of the baby squirrel too well,as per the vet's instructions...it is really nice to see him feeding it and trying to get it burp like a small baby after the feed..:)




Thats the baby squirrel




Thats my nephew feeding his baby...







And that is the home he made..

And thats the recent story of my nephew,whom i have named as the squirrel's foster father..:)

Not many of us have this quality of love towards animals like this..Well my nephew is one of those in that category of genuine animal lovers..I just wish he retains this liking always..And as far as I know him ,i believe he will..

chitz...

Saturday, March 20, 2010

What is wrong???

The kiss was missing..
The scenes jumped just like that..
We had to assume they kissed/or not kissed and connect the unseen dots...

End result:The beauty of the movie and that scene was spoiled...

I still don't understand why even a simple kissing scene is considered offensive in TV nowadays?
What can go wrong by watching a simple kiss?

Enough exposure to the harsh truths and realities of life is provided by news channels and newspapers..

Aren't the movies been given a hard time by the censor board?Y cant the ministry of I&B show a little mercy towards our good old television shows?

The subtitles given for English movies sometimes turn out to be hilarious when they try not to subtitle "offensive language " and substitute it with "diplomatic words"..

Turn on the new channels on a day when the parliament is in session and is there a dearth of words and mannerisms we can miss??

So why the hide and seek in such a trivial matter?

after all it is no secret..people kiss each other..and who dosen't know it??

If so,i wonder what all advertisements would be banned from TV???

Are the Indian audience considered that a immature lot??

And finally there will come a day in the history of Indian TV that ratings such as PG,U/A,A are all gone and every program will be reduced to the status of G...GENERAL VIEWING FOR ALL..




Welcome a non-biased for all ages , exclusive general viewing programmed, UN-REAL TV ERA folks..

And that too very soon i guess.:)

chitz....

Thursday, March 18, 2010

sketches again...

my sketch of the cover page of the book i read recently..:the kite runner..



n this jus came like that...



Some sketches inspired by some photographs i saw..but the final result turned out to be very different..:)









Thats for now folks...

chitz....

Sunday, March 14, 2010

A read so good....

It was a powerful read...and i dont have the strength for a serious read for the time being...

I didn't know much about Afghanistan until I read Khaled Hosseini's books "a thousand splendid suns"...and "the kite runner"..

Until then to me Afghan was a poverty stricken land ,land of osama, at war wid the US...least did i know about its rich heritage and culture,its famous scholars and poets,the very well learned women,true Islam and its preachings and last but not the least the people who owned a proud culture and most of them who are now reduced to nothing but refugees in their own land.....

Many incidents like the blowing up of the centuries old BUDDHA statue,imposing the taliban rules in the name of religion,and public slaughtering in the name of GOD and many such incidents which were read and forgotten just like that kept coming back like an instant replay....

Its heart rendering and thought provoking..The story unfolding through various people and incidents in the books...their sufferings and their yearning for a glimpse of their past life of joy.. the Afghan that was and the Afghan that is...and relationships,its value and its change with time....

This is not a book review or author appraisal or anything..Its just that the book was so powerful an emotional experience ,that i had to let it out of me..

And finally at the end of all the emotional turmoil ,I felt so drained out that whatever I have read till now didn't hold any comparison..

I read a lot of stuff..Some good,some ok,some pure garbage..I sometimes feel on reading the third category of books i have mentioned ,that mayb even i can write a book..provided i can find a publisher..

These are 2 of the best books i have ever read..and I know it will take a lot of time for me to come out of the Hosseni effect now..

and much more to forget Hassan,Amir,Mariam or Laila.......

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Crazy ponderings....

people love..

some continue to....
some break up...n begin and continue to hate each other...
some break up..but they continue to be friends...

and

some break up..but still they continue to love each other...
then why the break up?

just to cause a lot of heart ache...
just to know how good you two were
or
just for the high of living in a fantasy ...

life again is unexplainable...

Thursday, March 4, 2010

ART ATTACK..Yet Again!!!



The girl is just admiring the guitar..not playing it..so the position in which the guitar is held may be overlooked.. :)











chitz...

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

A JOURNEY


I was going through my old documents when i found out this entry..I don't have any idea when i wrote it or what made me write all this.....

A December night it was. Winters were already on. It was cold outside, very cold.

But she stood there. She preferred the cold chill outside to the warmth inside.

She stepped out again. It had just started snowing.

She closed her eyes .Just to be with herself.

And she knew from there she would start her journey.

A journey into a world which she only knew.

A journey into a love which she could only feel.

A journey into a memory which was her’s and only her’s.

A journey to a world, a world filled with emotion, mystery and joy.

A journey when she could just be herself.

A journey where she could feel everything.

A journey where all her unspoken and unknown dreams become a reality.

A journey of finding her true dreams.

A journey where the unknown strings of her heart was quietly plucked.

A journey whose end will be seen in her long lost traveler.

The traveler who was her dream.

The traveler who was her mystery.

The traveler who was her joy.

A journey to the traveler.

A journey embarked long back.

A journey never to be completed.

The cold wind continued to caress her face.

The snow was making her feet cold.

And she opened her eyes again..to the real world..

A world were dreams only remain as dreams.

And there she stood..

Waiting again for the moment, when she could embark her mysterious journey…..

To find the traveler of her dreams….



chitz...

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

A feathery tale...

There is a chandelier which hangs from the ceiling,a small one. Today while i was going upstairs to my room,I saw a sudden movement in the chandelier area,followed by the fluttering of wings and flying away of 2 birds outside ,through the balcony door which was open..

The birds which were inside for hardly sometime was in the process of building up a nest in the chandelier.A productive use for a space and thing which is rarely used..:)..Guess the birds didn't take much time to find out the place to build their nest because the balcony door was open for barely sometime..and is closed most of the times to prevent unnecessary entries like this..










The marked portion shows a section of the incomplete nest,which will hit the floors very soon..a waste of time and energy of the birds..

What to do?

We cant allow the nest inside as we don't want bird droppings on the heads of our guests every time some comes in..:)

Strange are the ways of the birds also..We had placed pots in the garden so that the birds can perch there..But none of the feathery friends seemed to take interest in it.Instead they preferred encroaching into others property..taking lessons from their homo sapien counterparts I guess..:)


Speaking of birds,i have a nephew who is into birds,animals and stuff.When he was small,he had bought some love-birds .He found them dirty and decided to give them a bath.After the bath he decided to dry them up but it finally led to the death of the birds as he tried to squeeze the birds dry as one does with wet cloth..That is a bird story i will never forget..

we have some love-birds at home..Been there for 10 years or so..Most of them died and many are still surviving..I am against caging of birds,but i was told that if these birds are left in the open they wont live another day to tell the tale of their freedom..






I got a favorite among the birds.He was born with a lame leg and still is so.He lives at the bottom most portion of the cage moving around and trying to climb up the grill sometimes to reach his other friends who are perched up..








And that's our hero..

Many many of the birds with him died and perished.But this guy is still living fine...that is the spirit to live ...

And thus lives on our feathery friends,with no care about the world or worries..happily in their own world..

until the next post...

chitz...