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Sunday, November 29, 2009

LIVE INs AND MARRIAGES-A personal experience

A previous post of mine-"Arranged or not"-invited some opinions .I would like to publish a certain mail i got regarding this topic,with the sender's permission.The author's identity is kept anonymous..

Excerpts from the mail

I had a live-in relation before getting married to the same girl. I was working, fresh out of b-school and my wife then in the final year of NIFT. So after she passed out out she decided to move into my place..primarily for two reasons:
1. so that we can spend more time together,which was convenient instead of trying to shuttle between two establishments
2. to cut down on costs as that meant she will have more money with herself, but then that is only a fall out reason and not the primary.


But, then that is where the real problem started...neighbors invited me for dinner and not her...they thought she is morally a corrupt lady and then couple of guys started dropping in my place just to chit chat with her...finally had to put my foot down...well those were the years!!!

actually, most people appoint oneself as moral police officers...and probably the sexuality of a relationship crosses their mind more than the ethereal side.

And, my second opinion is that females are always blamed more than their counterparts..i guess its a fall out of an upbringing in a male dominated society.

We got married and still living happily ever after...lot of people had predicted our doom primarily of she being from the fashion industry and me from a media background..but then..

Its not their fault..its their inability to see things from an outside perspective..to cross the other side and view things..but then thats what life is!!!

I would like to thank the sender of the mail for sharing his experience.

Many parts of his view I agree to,especially the moral police officers who doesn't care if their life is a hulla,but are adamant on letting others walk in the so-called prescribed "ways of the society" path..


This is a successful relation culminated in marriage,showing for many,living in is not just an excuse to have a fling without inhibitions,but much more than that..But still a larger section of our society fails to accept relationships of this kind.

But again,different people..different perspectives...


Friday, November 27, 2009

My Holiday Scribbles 12: Lonely......

There are times when you feel that you are all alone in this world..
Times when you feel that,there is no one for you

No one in the world who cares
No one to lend a shoulder for you to cry on
All alone by yourself,against the world

There are times when you shut yourselves from the world
Weeping behind that locked door
Afraid to come out,to the cruel waging world...

There are sometimes when you miss them
Those you know,who will never come back...

There are times when you just wonder
Where did that compassionate touch and soothing words fade away..

The pain which cant be explained
The tears that cant be dried up..

These are the times when you just ask
Why,o GOD..WHY??

And these are the times,when you feel
That a good bye is the best way to it.....



Image courtsey:www.krystalheart.com

Thursday, November 26, 2009

My Holiday Scribbles-11: Arranged or Not???

It all started today morning, with me just casually mentioning of two people i know who are into a living in relation.And it ended with me and my mom having a heated up discussion.Not actually a discussion,more of a speech by my mom ,flaunting the pros of indian culture,arranged marriages ,family pride..so on and so forth.

I have a friend who had a perfectly arranged marriage but went into divorce within one year of the marriage.But my friend is alright, since the involved parents support is there .A divorce of an arranged marriage ,of no fault of yours and be sure you can fall back upon your family to support you.After all,you just went by their choice.

The second person I know is having a living in and I should say is happily "living in".As far as I know,for them the important part is to be together,to know each other better and to share their life before getting into a legally bonded relationship,which they think will be very hard to break,god forbid if such a situation arises.They face those terrible looks by the not so open minded people around them,but they dare and have got the guts to live by throwing cautions to wind.

Two different scenarios and two different sets of people.

The system of arranged marriages does not offer a surety or guarantee of 100 percent that you will have a safe and secured life.But still ,it prevails and is a safe option for many.

In India ,they say marriage is a communion between not only two people but also two families.Whatever happens,be sure your family will be there for you always.

But you take a decision and you marry somebody of your will and wish or if you have a live in,then be sure to face the drama and chaos.

I personally do not have anything against Indian culture.I respect our culture,our society and our values.But I also think,every individual should be given the option of choices and the right to his life,as long as he/she doesn't turn antisocial and harm everyone around.

Whatever or however,its our own life.And all that matters is whatever your decision, at the end of the day,you should be truly happy...







So arranged or not??the debate continues......

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

My Holiday Scribbles-10: A Slytherin Story

"HELP !! HELP!! ..snake snake!!!"..these were the four words which destroyed a not so perfect game of cards(in which i was losing terribly),two days back..

worried and frightened faces of my cousin and mom,were what we saw when we went out..

"It was this long"..-cuz

"NO WAY,much larger than that"..-mom

contradictory statements..

but the snake..seriously,it was missing..

A torch light search made us find the snake which was comfortably curled up in a corner of the wall..

Afraid to go near it and more than afraid to do anything to it,fearing the dreaded naag shaap :(the last thing we want is a naagin's revenge.. :D).,we stood there thinking of ways to make it go away..

Finally with huge amounts of a room freshener sprayed upon it (it must have suffocated the snake,because I felt it was fainting in the midway) and a rod to guide the snake out of the house,we finally managed to make the creepy and unexpected guest of our house,go back to its destination...



This is a pic of the "loves of our lives" taken during the snake episode.,staring through the locked gate,wondering what the fuss is going around at this time of the night,without involving them..

And finally,

This is the pic of the massive invader,which scared the lives out of us..:)



And this is how huge it was.....zooming might be necessary

And it is not a big centipede,but a smaller version of a poisonous snake(info provided by my biologically oriented sister)..The snake part,I am sure..because I saw it hissing..The poisonous part,well some things are better when left not experimented ..:)

And back at his snake pit,the snake would have been a huge hit..because i doubt whether any snake would have smelled this good...

Hope he doesn't come back searching for the source of fragrance..:)

Friday, November 20, 2009

My Holiday Scribbles -9...A birthday and a gift...

Dear readers.

Today ,is my birthday...

I fail to fathom how fast these years went by...



A big thankx to everybody who remembered me,wished me and made my day......

I love you guys...:)

And today..My first blogger interview got published...

The link: http://webneetech.com/2009/11/20/interview-with-blogger-chithira/

I love you too my dear blog...

What a wonderful day,it is turning out to be.. :)

And i am soo soo happy..

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

My Holiday Scribbles-8 :It happens..every morning...

Today morning,I was sleeping in the comforts of my room at my home.. with no subconscious or unconscious plans to get up any time before 8 and thus make the most of the remaining 9 days of my leave.And that was when the inevitable happened.The wake up alarm at sharp 7 .I woke up with a start.The alarm was still on.After all I should have known.Don't expect to sleep after 7 at my place,unless and until you are that a heavy sleeper.

Everyday sharp at 7,an alarm goes off at my place.Everyday sharp at 7,the biological clock of the two "K9" members at my home,goes tick and off they start barking their consistent barks,which are mainly of 2 types.The first type an ear-piercing shrill(by the Pomeranian named "achu") and second one with an ear blasting bass(by the German shepherd by the name "bittu").

The sending out of the alarm can b bcoz of 2 reasons:
1.reminding us,that it is their breakfast time.
2.If they had already got their food,then it will be them chasing away the crows,who fly high in the sky,or perched at some roof tops.

Whatever the reason,the barking of the 2 doggies in my house,inspires all the other k9 characters in the nearby houses,and off they go sending off the community alarm together.The end result:The unfinished sleeps of some disturbed and unlucky souls,like yours truly..

The first thing that I will do,when I go down,will be to kill those two,were my thoughts today,as I got up from bed.And off I went with fumes coming out of my ears..

"where are you,you..."?

I couldn't complete the sentence,before which I was pounced upon and licked all over my face by achu and followed by bittu,who prefers to cuddle his head,and wipe his face on my dress...Their way of wishing me a pleasant morning..

And I stood there thinking.."Why on earth were I scolding them a minute before"??

This is the daily morning ritual that happens during my holidays at home...
They can convert a bubbling volcano into an ice-cream which melts away..:)

And they are not only a man's but a woman's best friend too..




Love you guys...:)

chitz.....

Saturday, November 14, 2009

My Holiday Scribbles-7: An Ode To A Grandpa Tree..

For many,this post may sound silly.But for me,its saying good bye to an inanimate friend.

The mango tree was in front of my house,from the time I remember.It wasn't exactly "OUR" tree,it was just outside our compound,facing the house.From the stories of my mom,who grew up in the same place,the tree was there when she was a kid too.A grandfather mango tree it was.

Nobody took special care of it.It grew enjoying the bounty of nature,and returning its favor.Every season,there was no end to the number of mangoes which the tree gave.The mangoes were plucked and taken away in huge amounts,by whomever who needed it.Not a single season I can remember when the tree bore no fruit...

Apart from that ,the tree was a part of many a childhood memories.The badminton games in which,the shuttle cock would always get stuck in its branches.Sometimes even the racket used to get stuck there,as a result of throwing them up in the air by the jubilant players.Many an onam season,when a swing would be tied from its branches.And many many games,played under the vast shade of the big tree..

This time ,coming home for vacations,I found out the tree was no longer there.It was fallen by the owner of the land,planning to use the place for commercial purposes.The big tree,which was an obvious hindrance in the path had to say good bye.



This is a snap of the tree taken by my sister,the last time it started bearing mangoes.Dont know the reason behind clicking the pic,but soon after this the tree was fallen down.

Now there is just the land and no tree.I always feel ,there is something missing,when I see the place where the tree stood.
And I feel sad,as if I had to say goodbye to a childhood friend...

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

My Holiday Scribbles 6-And the award goes to..

Hi people,i know i promised to return with a serious post..But this is no where near to serious...:)..

The fact that the serious post has been postponed is that,i have been awarded and also had to finish a tag...

N b4 i show off my award,lemme reward the person who gave me my first award..this is 4 u,rohit...



So,here goes my first award..
Thanks to rohit...:)




The rules,directly from rohit's rule book

1. Tell 7 things about youself that nobody else knows.
2. Pass on this award to 7 other people.
3. Comment on their blogs to let them know that they are tagged.


As per the rules here are 7 things that no one knows about me..or which i think most of the people don't know..


1.I wanted to be a hair-dresser when i was young
2.My latest hobby is collecting matchbox sized wine-bottle replicas..
3.I feel really awkward when i have to ask for a favor from somebody
4.My favorite comic is Dilton(not Archies.i guess that will b a real surprise for atleast sm1)
5.I always get the creeps b4 going for a haircut...
6.I am normal most of the times,but if I get into the mood for something,I can be a very big control freak..
7.I can never remember the excat spelling of" recieved"..(this time,i cross checked).

ANd here goes.I am presenting this award and tagging the following fellow bloggers..
NJ, shibu, princess,
chandni, deigostar, rockus, hobo

so,that does it..
until the next post folks...

ciao...
chitz

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

My Holiday Scribbles-5: A few thoughts on a rainy day..

Disclaimer:There is nothing serious,thoughtful ,humorous or sentimental in the below post.They are some thoughts crossing my mind,as usual.

It is raining cats and dogs here..
And I m sitting in the comforts of my home,enjoying the rains minus a cup of hot coffee,which I am lazy to go down and make by myself..and hence i am bearing the self imposed brunt of laziness.

.Today I realized its been almost a week since I updated my blog.The main factor which kept me away from my space in the cyberworld was the fact that i purchased 6 books,which is eating up my time to be precise..:)


.The fat man with a very huge pot belly throwing his hands up in a yoga like position and perching comfortably on my table,is constantly giving me fat big grin..he is the "laughing Buddha",gifted to me by a certain person..and seriously,from any angle he doesn't look like any painting or sketch of THE "Buddha" I have ever seen.And hence the mystery behind the second part of that name remains..

But as they say,what is in a name..This laughing guy can be seen almost everywhere nowadays ,as he is supposed to be the bearer of good luck and fortune....which I doubt,bcoz for me,b4 him or after him life was and is pretty much the same..

For years,until I had a say in my life, I had been forced to wear scores of good luck charms ranging from birth stones,lucky stones,holy talismans,sacred threads..this ,that and so on..

The effects..quite invisible to me..
The justification provided to me to continue wearing them even then:They are warding of the ill effects ,which would have affected you, if you weren't wearing them..

And my logical brain thinks:
They say..life is pre -written...
Ur destiny is pre -written...
So lucky charm or not,what will be will be...

Whatever,today I am free of charms and stuff.
And if a lucky charm really exists ,mine is missing...:)

Will be back with a more serious post soon
Till then

ciao
chitz.....

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

My Holiday Scribbles 4 -A longlost place...

There was a place..
a place somewhere..where everything was nothing but the best..
everyday was nothing but a celebration and every next moment was nothing but a hope so high and a wish so pure...
and every other person was a friend so good or a soul so near...
We lived in that world..we relished the joy...we marveled and was astonished at the wondrous luster of the nature around us...
And we lived,everyday..to the best as it was possible...

And those days were called the days of "childhood"...

The days when the sun was a golden ball and the ant was the tiniest creature possible..
The days when you were amazed at the falling rains and those twinkle twinkle little stars in the sky....
The days when 'chocolate" was the biggest gift you could ever imagine...
The days when sleep visited you whenever you wanted it to...
The days when your father's love was heaven and your mother's arms were the most safest place on earth....

Something which we will never get back...
Something which we look back always ,as an innocence long lost...
Something which we wonder..why we had lost it..

And that was my childhood too...
Which i sometimes wish i could get back.....




And i wish i could go so high on that empty swing again ...
Just to shout out that "I am on the top of this world"....

chitz......

(Image courtsey:www.eyefetch.com/image.aspx?ID=108605)

Sunday, November 1, 2009

My Holiday Scribbles 3- The Red Roses....

November had dawned in..

Braving the november morning chills,he kept on walking..
He just wanted to be there...
It was a long walk,but He didn't mind.
And it was such a cold morning,when the body was failing but the heart kept on going...
He had to be there,because he knew..she will be there ,waiting for him...
After all,it was her special day..

"Happy Birthday Baby"..he said.."This is for you..And you,thought i would forget??"...

She liked it ,the very fist time he presented it to her..
She loved it always,when he gave it to her...
"Like the rose,so our love"..she always said...

He was happy,she liked the gift..
He always knew, his choice of red roses will never go wrong...

And today also he knew..he had made her happy...
He knew...she would see the red roses,laid on her cold tomb...



Beautiful and serene ,..but dying off soon...
Just like the red roses she loved....
So was her life...

And he..stood there...
Happy that she will be happy...
Sad that..he can never ever be so...

Memories of her,haunted him and hurt him...
But he knew,he will be back there tomorrow...
With the red rose she loved...

Just so that..she will be happy....